Roman at work – risky adventure?

Many of us still get acquainted at work. Are service novels dangerous? Or they, on the contrary, increase professional efficiency?

Which of us has not ever experienced attraction to our boss, work colleague, new trainee or pretty trainee? Really love and work go so well with each other?

Oleg and Yana met in a consulting company where they worked together. At first they tried to hide their relationship. However, as it always happens, they failed to keep their novel for a long time. From the day their relations were “calculated” by colleagues, the situation was noticeably complicated. Unsubjected up the team, difficulties began with mutual understanding. The matter ended that both lovers had to quit.

“Now we are together all the time,” says Oleg. – But only in their free time. We work in different places, and this is for the better. Still, love at work is a very subtle game in which it is important not to set the other under attack. “.

And yet, despite all the pitfalls, the work remains one of the most common places of dating.

You cannot prohibit

“Who with whom?” – an eternal topic for conversations in office kitchens, in smoking rooms and canteens, which reflects a much more complex problem than it might seem.

Perhaps only the leaders of the companies and employees of the personnel department refrain from discussing this issue, says Loik Rosh, the author of the book “Cupid at work”: “When they ask if there were cases of close (sexual) relations between employees in their companies, in most cases, responsecan be negative “.

Meeting point

It is quite obvious that work is an ideal place to dating.

“At work, unlike a relaxed and undemanding home environment, we need to monitor the appearance, decently dress, be sustained, polite and correct,” Loik Rosh rightly notes. – We spend most of our time at work, interact with people with whom we are united by working goals. All this undoubtedly facilitates the opportunity to establish a romantic relationship. “.

“Our relationship developed gradually, within six months,” says Maria, 35 years old. – We spent a lot of time together, dined together and recognized each other well. It turned out that we have a lot of common interests and tastes in many respects coincide.

And at least there is an opinion that love and work are poorly combined with each other, we, on the contrary, have personal and professional life, did not contradict each other – late business meetings, business lunches and dinners, techniques, seminars … It is sometimes very difficult to draw a border between these twoworlds “.

The fruits of love

But at first, Maria did not think that one of her colleagues could fall in love with one of her colleagues. “But when this happened, I realized: how great it is when, when you smile on the way to work, at the thought that you are now meeting him. For me, these moments have become an additional motivation for work “.

Loik Rosh gives an explanation: “The emergence of loved ones, especially sexual relations with one of the colleagues is a way to breathe life into that space, which is often hostile to us and even destructive. Such an experience allows a person to re -feel alive, loved and appreciated. “.

Then are love relations at work so dangerous? Perhaps they, on the contrary, increase professional efficiency? The French psychologist carefully studied this issue and came to the conclusion: those companies where the number of love novels on the total number of employees turned out to be the most innovative.

“The nature of

creative and sexual love impulses is the same,” Loik Rosh sums up. Mandelstam was right: “And the sea and Homer – everything moves love”.

Gossip, jealousy, suspicion

And yet Loik Rosh believes that love stories are “not the luxury that we can afford at work. Careless acts can cause damage to the case and their own reputation “.

Of course, no one can forbid to build relationships with work colleagues. However, you can be sure that love affairs will bring certain difficulties in everyday life. “We came to work on one car, in the office we followed a certain distance, trying not to give ourselves. But people are not fools, ”Maria recalls.

Will inevitably have to face gossip and, possibly, jealousy. The situation is even more complicated when two work in the same team.

How to build working relations with a love connection, how to ensure labor discipline if one of the two is the boss and the other subordinate? But what if she receives a salary increase, but he does not?

Dina worked for several years in an advertising agency, like her future husband. “When two work in one company, there is always a risk of bias in relations.

Any solution can be incorrectly interpreted, in addition, the environment will try to distance himself from lovers. For example, becoming the wife of the head of the company, I faced the fact that people stopped behaving naturally with me. After all, the wife of the chef is one who never says what they think “.

When love ends

As we see, the service novel is not devoid of risks. Karina was convinced of this from her experience: “I had a short romance with my boss. Throughout the month we met secretly from everyone, then he was tired of him, and he did everything possible to leave the company of my own free will. So, in an instant, I lost my favorite job “.

In most cases, love novels attached at work are fleeting, most often these are fleeting affairs, love adventures without any prospects. It is worth considering well before entering into a relationship. With the worst scenario, you will have to see a former partner every day and suffer either from guilt or from jealousy to his new passion.

Labor Code for lovers

Love is an incomprehensible secret, but one thing is known to it reliably – it always comes without warning. What to do if she “accidentally rises” right at the workplace? Maria adheres to the rule: one cannot allow hints of intimacy, no compliments and signs of attention. “It is necessary to protect the secret of love, not to tell colleagues on work about the joys and ups and downs of your relationship.”.

Dina believes that it is necessary to establish a clear border between work and the house: “His position was much higher than mine, and the circle of duties was much larger. And I did not want the working meetings to continue at home at dinner. “.

Work can contribute to rapprochement, but it is unlikely to guarantee the durability of relations, she believes. However, many representatives of creative professions will not agree with her: for some there is no better leisure than spend the evening together with a glass of red wine and … to reflect on a new project.